We've heard from the young Amelia Abas in Chapter 1, and the grownup Amelia in Chapter 2. Now's the time for Fatso's point of view.
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| Menu for ice cream potong - named so because each ice cream is cut (potong in Bahasa) from a big slab |
Chapter 3
Lucky Boy
‘Woi!’ my happy voice called out to the proud girl.
Head turned sideways, she glared at me as she mechanically paid the ice cream man.
Jubilant she reacted with my first call, I grinned ear to ear. But, woi! That look she shot me, it nearly made me tremble, and left my knees knocking each other. Her stare gave the impression she had the power to make me melt. Who did she think she was? Wonder Woman? When the ice cream purveyor handed her the usual purchase, she took it from him, didn’t even look where the treat was. Impressed, I cried ‘Woi!’ There was no relent in her stare. She was one fierce creature, aaa.
I beckoned her with both hands to my spot. ‘Woi, come here! Where I am! You’re not blind, light?’ My slave driver, who was standing behind me shook my left shoulder. I turned to him and we carried a brief animated discussion. Seconds later, I reverted my attention to the schoolgirl. I was a lucky boy! Woi! She was still interested in me. I wasn’t bluffing one – she glowered at me while she licked her ice cream! Maybe she was persistently jealous of my smooth, flawless, beautiful face. I grinned widely and as swiftly as the grin materialized, I wiped it off. It was never too good to let a girl know how you feel about her. I pushed my sliding eyeglasses up the bridge of my nose.
‘Aaa, excuse me, miss! This guy next to me wishes to talk with you!’ I declared as I made hand signs, for the benefit of the tall dude beside me. ‘Could you be kind aaa? Come nearer to us so that we all could have a civil conversation? No need to shout one!’ While no more than five feet away from her, I yelled at her. You see, that was a precaution, just in case she was deaf. All the passers-by regarded me like I was deranged. I didn’t care as I really enjoyed the limelight. As soon as I stopped my signing, I muttered, ‘Aiya, this is hard. Now cannot talk like pasar one. Haiya!’
From her facial expression, I noted she was awed I complained I could no longer talk the pasar – street – way without moving my mouth much. She caught my buddy studying her, or more specifically her lips. He, on catching she likewise, was surveying him, simpered. I’d never seen him lose his cool. He was never shy around girls – big, tall, fat, short, sweet, beautiful, ugly. But this girl was not wall eyed, wart nosed, humpbacked, doughy or bow legged; she was different. One look at her, and another look at Ruo Li, and I knew the stupid fool was headed for trouble! – Ruo Li aaa, don’t play with fire! I warned him. He couldn’t and didn’t listen to me. Poor boy was deaf. And stubbornly stupid to a factor of gazillion.
She languidly inched her way toward us while masticating her ice cream. Once close enough, she briefly surveyed us and rest her attention on me. See! She was interested in me. ‘Mister,’ she began, ‘if you keep up your good manners, maybe…I’ll talk with him.’ She motioned to my slave driver with a nod in his direction.
I wryly crinkled my mouth at her for calling me mister when I was still at a tender, young age. I was a kid one! Was she blind? Despite her derision, I proceeded to relay her message to Ruo Li. He simply patted my shoulder a few times before I completely relayed her words to signify he understood everything. Ruo Li’s attention was fastened on the girl’s lips the way my eyes clung on a heaping box of piping hot Kentucky Fried Chicken. He had a sort of confidence about him. If her cognitive ability was optimized, she should know he could read her lips. Ruo Li shouldn’t be treated as a helpless kid aaa.
I tugged his sleeve shortly for attention and commenced to sign to him. – What you want me to say to her, don’t waste my time OK, this one the fierce kind, makes me feel old quickly, haiya! Called me mister yesterday and mister too today. My hair becoming white aaa?
As soon as Ruo Li completed his gestures, I turned to the girl. ‘He says…Hello, my name is Wong Ruo Li. Solly, I am deaf. But I’d leally, leally wish to be your fliend. May I know your name?’ I uttered, word by word, unemotional, like a robot.
I could see she comprehended my weakness in certain pronunciations. She studied me in amusement and glanced at Ruo Li. See! She only glanced at him one!
Ruo Li shook my shoulder a couple of times. I threw him a hasty, disgruntled glance. He grabbed my shoulders and positioned me so that I was standing in profile opposite the girl. Next, Ruo Li began signing and I was reduced to be his slave. ‘He says, may I know your name, please?’ A grumble under my breath followed but it was loud enough for the girl to detect it. Leveraging on my ventriloquist talent, I railed I was doing a thankless job much like a dumb secretary, except that I wasn’t wearing a skirt. I felt used one!
The girl nonetheless refrained from showing any emotion. She continued eating her ice cream in silence. Ruo Li, uncharacteristically impatient, shook my shoulder again and nodded toward her.
‘Aiya, this guy wants to know your name, miss! Pity me aaa, I cannot do this tlanslate thing too long,’ I carped.
She bit more of her ice cream and took her own sweet time chewing it. I hoped she wasn’t like those cows which regurgitated their food. Ruo Li and I could be standing there until midnight before she started talking again. Haiya! Thankfully, she said, ‘How come?’
‘No can do pasar talk. No fun. My brain becomes like lobot only.’ I switched to my robot-mode speech and softly, rapidly uttered a few sentences through gritted teeth. ‘Hello! My name is Wong Ruo Li. I have a secletaly. I-like-to-make-him-look-dumb-one.’
She giggled on my last statement. Ruo Li seemed confused. I spotted pity in her glance at him. Chewing a mouthful of ice cream, she told me, ‘Tell him, I’m pleased to meet him.’ I knew she was confident the tall guy couldn’t read her lips, with all her manducation. While she wasn’t hideous or uncomely like the Ugly Duckling, her unmannered behavior – speaking with a mouthful of food – didn’t scare me. However, I was beginning to feel a modicum of apprehension. Her lack of decorum indeed didn’t have any negative effect whatsoever on Ruo Li. Contrary to my expectation, a stupid smile was plastered on his physiognomy. Haiya! Ruo Li’s state of mind was therefore more insane than I had initially thought. Frowning in concern, I conveyed her response to Ruo Li.
The slave driver moved his hands and I in turn, dutifully relayed the messages to her. ‘I’m vely pleased to meet you, too. If you’d be so kind, may I know your name?’ I turned to her and complained through gritted teeth, ‘Aiya! So folmal. So Blitish Council.’ And I waited and waited. Ruo Li patiently studied her for an answer but she remained quiet with her countenance portraying amusement. I shifted my weight by hopping slightly feet to feet in the same spot, followed by crossing and uncrossing my legs. Finally, I moved my body to confront her squarely. I dramatically sighed. Without any hand signs, I ribbed her in her mother tongue that not having a name meant she was mute. Therefore she was disabled too, similar to my companion.
Seconds after those statements, Ruo Li shoved my thick left shoulder. Due to my height(not much), portliness(too much) and therefore low center of gravity, I hardly budged from the thrust. He made a few frantic signs. – Dumbass, what did you mention to her this time? How come she suddenly stops smiling? You mess up, and I’ll report to Ma you wet your bed again last night. Believe me, I will, and I’m tired of helping you drag your stinking mattress with your pee map of the world outside our room to be aired! Now, apologize for what you said and ask her nicely for her name. Nicely, OK?
As Ruo Li’s messages formed, I grunted ‘aiya!’ a few times. The schoolgirl, I believed, surmised she had put me on a spot. I shot her an apologetic glance. Ruo Li focused his stare on my lips this time. Keeping up with his signs, I relayed to the girl, ‘He says…Solly, this fat boy beside me is a dog, eh, dock, eh, dork, you idiot! Solly in advance if he says stupid things. I told you my name. What’s yours, please?’ I breathed out noisily. The whole translating effort was a real burden to me. Haiya! I needed to tinkle!!! After seconds ticked, I crossed and uncrossed my legs again, confronted her and concluded she was a crazy girl for torturing me. Ruo Li had finally showed interest in a girl for the first time in his life. But, haiya! Why did he have to choose trouble? Irritated, I remarked to her, ‘Eh, can hurly up or not? I have to go pee aaa. Cannot hold too long all leady.’
She studied her remaining ice cream. A flicker of inspiration stretched on her visage. She regarded us and much as I had suspected, she had a cuckoo brain one. Why? She said, ‘My name is Princess Sweet Corn.’ Cuckoo!
As I wove signs for Ruo Li, I hurled a very cynical glare, complete with a frown, to the girl. ‘What kind of a cockamamie name is that? Are you out of this world? ET?’
The girl huffed at me. ‘I happen to love fairy tales. You have a problem with that mister?’
I grinned, and nearly informed her I had a very big problem with her moniker when Ruo Li shoved and reintimidated me he’d disclose to Ma last night’s pee incidence if I didn’t behave. I, alarmed, quickly displayed my remorse to the girl and apologized. I politely begged for her name and she noticed my trembling legs. She seemed amused one. ‘OK, all right. My name is –’
An irritating blast of horn suddenly interrupted our conversation and she hurled her attention to its source. There was an orange school van across the street. Some wild kids, her friends I supposed, were poking their heads out of the windows and waving animatedly at her. A girl with a bob, wild look, crazy gestures, indicated her schoolbag was safely in the vehicle. The pony-tailed prefect faced us again with an amused expression. She popped the last of her ice cream into her mouth and to my horror, commenced to walk away from us.
‘Woi! Woi! Woi! We’re not done yet! You haven’t told us your name aaa!’ I complained.
She hastily spun around and shrugged briefly to signify there wasn’t much she could do. ‘Next time!’ she dished out to conclude our tête-à-tête that afternoon. The girl darted off to the other side to catch her ride home. I ran after her as fast as my legs could allow, and that wasn’t speedy enough because they were chunky. I was the lumbering hippopotamus, she the elegantly lightning-fast gazelle; she was too swift for me. A tad later, I was bent over, panting like an asthmatic kid and dripping buckets of sweat. The only consolation I received was in her wake, I serendipitously caught the sweet but not cloying scent of vanilla and orange blossoms.
I stood up. ‘Woi! Woi! Woi!’ I cried out after her. ‘Don’t tell me your name is Next Time!’ She was unfortunately too far away from me. ‘Haiya!’ I lamented, ‘How am I leally going to explain it to Wong Ruo Li?’
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